Even in the days before the internet and social media it was not uncommon for me to hear moms complaining about their children and wishing they could get a break from them. As a home educating mom, other moms felt compelled to tell me that they could never homeschool because they couldn't stand being with their children all day. In other cases women would talk about how they longed for time away from their families and for special "me time." I see these sorts of comments on the internet every day.
I have a confession to make. I never feel that way. As far as I can remember, I have never wanted to be away from my children. Sometimes I wish they would alter their behavior, but I don't want them to go away. Even my adult children. I miss them if I go to the store without them. I really enjoy going out with my husband, and I don't regret spending time with just him, but I never find myself saying, "I'm so glad the kids aren't here." I enjoy their company. Although I am an introvert and sometimes I prefer silence, I don't want to be separated from my family. I take comfort and solace in their presence. The very idea that I participated in making these humans and that I have a relationship with them is pleasant.
Now, I don't want to give the impression that there is some moral superiority in the way I feel about my children. It is neither here nor there morally whether a person likes or doesn't like spending lots of time with people. The only reason I mention it is because I cannot relate in any way to the feeling of wanting to get away from my children. I think other moms assume that I share this with them, but I don't. I also can't relate to people who like cats, or to people who think it is fun to jump from high places. When I see a meme of a mom getting drunk and talking about how her kids drive her to drink, or how she can't wait until they move out, I couldn't be more nonplussed. "Why," I say to myself, "would anyone not want to be with their own children?"
Maybe my kids are just better. Probably not. Anyway, if it were up to me, all of my children, including the adults and the married ones (with their spouses and my grandchildren) would all live under one roof so I could enjoy them every day.
Arranged Marriage: a daughter's perspective - It's a good thing we've been waiting a year on this perspective. I think it gives time for the daughter to really come to terms with what happened and wha...
8 months ago