Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs

I have some respect for Vyckie Garrison at No Longer Quivering for avoiding the intellectual dishonesty which would accompany her beliefs if she was still claiming to be a Christian. But she doesn't make such a claim. She admits the Bible says that women are to submit to their husbands, but she doesn't believe the Bible is the Word of God and doesn't believe women should obey the Bible. Her position is consistent.

This woman is different. And to her I say, if you believe you know the will of God apart from and directly in opposition to what He has revealed in His Word, you are deeply deceived and the truth is not in you.

Her name is Natalie Klewja. Here is a sample of her writing:
Although I had kept journals since I was in high school, I rarely wrote down bad incidents that happened in my marriage because I believed that the verse “love keeps no record of wrongs” meant if I loved my husband I would try to forget anything negative that happened between us.
She says this in her blog post entitled Three Things to Put in Writing (and Three Reasons Why). The first thing she tells wives is to "(w)rite down incidents that stir your emotions." She goes on to say, "You’ll want to write down everything you can remember. Body language, words used (on both sides), your emotions at the time, any background information, thoughts that were running through your head, things you suspect but don’t know for sure, as well as things you do know for sure"  I have to admit, this sounds a LOT like a woman who is keeping a record of wrongs. As a woman, I do this in my head all the time. It serves to feed negative emotions and the next thing I know, I am accusing my husband (in my mind) of hating  me and plotting my demise, because obviously if he loved me, he wouldn't have left that cabinet door open in the kitchen when I've asked him thousands of times to close it when he's finished, right?  I can't think of a worse idea for anyone, let alone a wife, than to write down the details of an incident that stirred her emotions. But my criticism is not based on whether the idea is stupid but rather, does it violate the Scriptures?

Natalie says that she used to feel bad about writing down negative incidents because of the verse "love keeps no record of wrongs." Let's look at that verse, in its context.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.Charity never faileth
In case you aren't aware, we are looking at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a.  It appears that Natalie used the NIV Bible, which translates the last phrase of verse 5, where the KJV says "thinketh no evil" as "keeps no records of wrongs." Does this passage seem ambiguous to anyone? Charity (translated as "love" in many Bibles) doesn't think evil. A wife who is trying to love her husband does not even think evil of him, let alone write down all of his perceived faults and "things you suspect but don't know for sure."

Allowing your emotions to lead you is the path to insanity. Unless you are planning to blow up your family like Natalie did, do NOT take her advice. Unless you are planning to disregard God's directions for behaving in love towards others, do NOT take her advice. The Bible is not a buffet. We don't get to eat what we want and leave the rest. If "love keeps no record of wrongs" does not mean what it says, then please explain exactly what it does mean. I don't see any way that it could mean, "Keeping records of wrongs is loving." That is just impossible. Impossible.


Anonymous said...

You know, I saw that post on her page and immediately thought the same thing. "Didn't I just read in 1 Corinthians that love keeps no record of wrongs? Wasn't I just convicted of doing that very thing?"

I looked at a couple other of her posts, and she is teaching evil. Not 'bad' or 'unwise,' but straight up evil.

~Anonymous Gentleman

subject by design said...

I have to agree. It is sad that marriage is so easily destroyed, not by initial problems, but by the unbiblical response to problems. The Bible gives guidance and commands for dealing with these issues and to despise that counsel is, indeed, evil.